Things I learned in Undergrad

Things I learned from going to class:

·         How to use Microsoft One Note.

·         Archaeology involves a shockingly small amount of fighting Nazis and using a Bullwhip.

·         There is a reaction that makes alkenes, whose name I don’t remember. It was originally performed in Vodka, because it was done by a German Chemist immediately after WWII, and they couldn’t afford supplies. This is the only thing I remember from Organic chemistry.

·         Iguanas lay eggs.

·         Sharks are fish. Whales are not.

·         How to take a multiple-choice exam: process of elimination, and then lucky guesses.

·         At first, you will not study. You will not get an “A”. Panicked, you will study furiously. You will still not get an “A”. Don’t worry: There’s probably a curve.

Things I learned from not going to class:

·         Netflix is worth $7.99- to the approximately 7 people in the world who pay for it and share their login info with everyone else.

·         A liquor store is called a “Paki Store” in New England.

·         Just because the dining hall has pizza every day, doesn’t mean you should eat pizza every day.

·         The way to derive and integrate an equation: It’s a very simple process. Just type “derivative of {Equation}” into Wolfram Alpha.

·         If you’re willing to pay for it, Chegg.com has all of the answers to the online physics homework.

·         If you ever do badly on an exam, blame the professor’s poor grasp of English. This won’t change your grade, but it will help you avoid dealing with the fact that you might just be dumb.